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I’m fully aware that guys do the same exact thing and have no problem with it until we make a commitment to only each other. Even if it doesn’t go any further, knowing some random dude thought I was good enough to swipe right on is a serious ego boost. With working two bartending jobs and being a freelance writer, I’m crazy busy.I don’t have time to go to a bar and sit there waiting for the man of my dreams to walk in and sit down next to me.This is not the GOAL, but an almost uncontrollable byproduct of the choice and volume inherent in online dating.
In real life, we meet people organically, feel attraction and learn about them later.
All YOU can see is that the same face is still on there, two years later, when, in fact, this guy is the perfect example of an online dating success. As a writer without a close-knit group of friends, who worked from home, and who bristled at the idea of picking up women at bars, this medium was a godsend.
I had my first online girlfriend in 2000 for five months, fell in love in 2003 in a seven-month relationship, did it again in 2004 for four months, and had my last online girlfriend in 2006 for eight months.
Half the guys I match with don’t respond, so I have to move on to the next one.
If we match and I message a guy, I really expect him to respond, even if it’s to say, “No, thanks.” He doesn’t need to answer me right away, but if he waits longer than 24 hours or never responds, I get pissed, unmatch with him, and move on to the next guy.
I tried Match, Chemistry, e Harmony, Nerve, American Singles, Matchmaker… What’s similar is that the users always think that they’ve got it under control, and that nobody’s getting hurt in the process. There’s a delusional aspect to successful online dating—one that I’ve embodied—one that I’ve seen in my clients as well.